Player Profiles


LH Opening Bat. Club stalwart who continues to churn out the runs for the 2s. Provides a physical presence up front in the 2nd XI batting line up alongside the Earl.


Medium pace bowler from Alnwick. Gareth is a bit concerned about missing pre season as he needs to organise a stag do for his brother Prince William, but we are hopeful that we can get him on the park to get his swag bag out and burgle some wickets. Arguably the worst batsman in the league.


Nick is a RH bat and medium pace bowler who provides experience and steel to the 2nd XI’s occasionally less than watertight batting line up. Doesn’t even get much stick for being a Smoggy, such is the esteem he is held in amongst the lads.


Ginger ‘Aussie’ joining the club whilst completing his legal studies. Rumour has it James Davidson brought him in to increase the cheveux rouge quotient amongst the lads and detract from his own flaming locks. Steady batter, alleged leg spinner, terrible chirper.


RH Bat. Ever reliable human dartboard. Quiet man of the club, ‘Rowdy’ makes all his words count. A strong batsman through the offside, will be looking to be back amongst the runs in 2011.


RH Mid Order Bat. Chris returned last season and spent the summer terrorising mid on and mid off fielders. A classical batsman who is a pleasure to watch, Chris is hoping his back will be up to delivering some further mystery spin this season.


3rd XI batsman and Raymond van Barneveld lookalike. Jason is a fulcrum of the Howds Heroes batting order and a capable mystery bowler when called upon.


After an aborted comeback in 2010 Peter is giving it another go to settle a sibling argument with younger brother Chris about style over substance. A dogged batter, we are hopeful that his Achilles will hold up to the rigours of league cricket!


1st XI WK Corbs had a great year last year, finishing second in the league for WK dismissals. Easily the most energetic and enthusiastic man in the club, one or two lads learnt the hard way last season that feeding Neil Red Bull after midnight can have fairly serious repercussions.


Left arm pace bowler . Marky is currently ‘studying’ at Sheffield Uni where he has constructed an unbelievably elaborate Facebook hoax in a poor effort to convince the lads that he has a girlfriend. We anticipate his Facebook account being closed by the authorities for Identity Theft fairly soon. Fictional member of Overachievers’ Club..


Middle order batter and rapid bowler (from 15 yards) Davo is easily the biggest overachiever in the club, having a partner far far more attractive than himself. Davo is also in the medical books for the affliction Davidsons’ Syndrome – a condition which causes a batter to get to 40 lots but never really kick on.


Centre Parc’s favourite son. John is a fast bowler who has overcome some obvious intellectual difficulties to play cricket as a break from taking holidays to Cumbria’s most popular domed swimming pool. In his spare time John also does outreach work in the community, offering care and affection towards the elderly.


Doc is a legend. If you ask him he’ll tell you. Doc was single-handedly responsible for school absences on Mondays soaring last season by upsetting many a young boy on a Sunday by getting them out. Doc’s mastery of slow inswing bowling is without equal, and batsman can’t understand how a cadaver can actually be bowing at them. Loves repetition.


Another player who had a fine debut season last year, ‘Alf’ is currently at Loughborough Uni in their first-class squad. When he returns he will no doubt be looking to add to his wickets and his solitary 6 from last season.


RH slow/medium Bowler and Slogger. Hirsty had a fine debut season for the ‘Turret’ culminating in a match-winning performance at Gateshead Fell with the ball and a display of the finest moustache to grace a cricket field for many a year. Peter has only one shot while batting (the ‘mow’), the direction and trajectory of the ball is simply influenced by where in the arc of the ‘mow’ he makes contact.


‘Churchill’ is a classical off spin bowler, dogged batsman and junior mastermind. Never short to venture forth a dry comment when he thinks has is out of earshot of the 2nd team captain. Recently went sky diving with Melanie Sykes.


Tobes is the 3rd XI captain, but can be often found at the club on a Saturday offering constructive advice to players in an inebriated state or having answered a panic stricken 2nd XI skipper’s call at 11:00 that morning. A firm fixture in Overachievers’ Club and the only other known sufferer of Davidson’s Syndrome in the club. Toby’s proudest moment was when he ‘made Turret history’ last year by breaking 3rd XI run scoring record. No one near him in the table got a bat for 2nd half of season.


Leg spin bowling all rounder, Phil is the 2nd XI captain, and the glue that holds his troops together. The departure of Matt Bashford has given him a new lease of life coupled with the dreaded realisation that he might actually have to do some batting and bowling this season.


The thinnest man in North East cricket, Dan made great strides as an all rounder in the 2s last season. Opposition captains seem to be taking their time to work out that 95% of his runs go through 3rd man. Still needs a proper haircut and a good meal.


Diminutive new arrival, wily left arm spinner and classical left hand batter. The 2nd team skipper is looking forward to forming the most physically disproportionate set of spin twins in cricketing history with Jass.


Prateek is a graduate student at Newcastle Uni and has spent his winter cleaning the lads up at nets with impressive regularity. This is at least in part due to the cricket ball he uses which has one half that has been belt sanded and a half that looks like a marble.


Ben is our Overseas Player for 2011. A fast bowling all rounder he comes highly recommended by those in the know. Ben is living with the 2nd XI captain in the smallest bedroom on Earth.


Opening bowler and middle order batter, Ross is a fantastic player when his bad back and his wife let him out to play. Expect some fine performances punctuated by mini breaks/ weddings/ christenings/ stag dos/ dog-sitting engagements. Part of Overachievers’ Club.


New recruit from Notts. Middle order batsman whose 1st XI appearances will be curtailed by a pursuit of higher learning. The 2nd XI captain very much hopes that he will consider a PhD also!!


Recently arrived Tim Bresnan clone from Yorkshire, Joe spent most of his winter kicking the 2nd XI skipper all over the 5 a side court. As a consequence, we expect Joe to start under Toby Howd’s leadership. Capable with bat and ball, Joe will be an asset whatever side he ends up in.


RH opening bat/landed Gentry. ‘The Earl’ is a classical opening bat who plays in the V and hopes to build on a fine start to his NCC career, having already been appointed 2nd XI Consigliere. In his spare time he shoots Grouse and Pheasant on his Estate and abuses the help. Lord Nicholson is the Honorary Patron of the Overachievers’ Club.


Newly appointed 1st XI captain and the man with the longest arms in world cricket. Niall was having a fine season last year before badly injuring his ankle tripping over his own hands playing for the NEPL XI. The club settled out of court a legal claim from Marske CC for damage to their outfield caused in the incident.


Baby brother of our DCCC player Michael, Jonny arrives courtesy of Newcastle Uni. An opening bat who has a lot of time at the crease, Jonny’s main hobbies appear to be loafing and stealing kit from his big brother.


Our DCCC player. Michael is a batsman/wicketkeeper who had a tremendous first season with the club in 2010. Michael has spent the winter working on his golf swing in order to pursue a post-cricket career as a body double for Rory McIlroy. Part of Overachievers’ Club.


Jack is another fine off spinning prospect and aggressive junior batsman who hopes to continue his development with the seniors. Offers a good line in cheek and insolence towards the 2nd XI skipper.


RH bat/part time WK. Chris scored heavily in the 2s last year, despite playing a few games for the 1s. A batter who likes to get on with the game he will be hoping for more of the same again. Availability may be an issue however with the launch of his new film Pirates of the Caribbean 4.


Victim of Toby Howd’s ‘rotation policy’ when closing in on 3rd team run record. Dom is a solid batsman and dependable wicketkeeper. His sway with the 2nd XI skipper is diminished though as he is no longer a barman at Mr Lynchs. Recent inductee into Overachievers’ Club.


Newly expectant parent and left handed opening bat. Nick had a good year for the 1s last year, scoring almost 500 league runs. We hope the sleepless nights don’t take their toll. Nick also carries a portable treadmill that he runs on while chasing balls in the field.